Learning To Live With Me

Well, I said I was a 'big girl' and could handle being without my other half. I lied. It's not that I mind being by myself @ times, just not liking this all the time. Separation Anxiety usually applies to children, but I have the heaviest feeling when I know I won't see him for weeks at a time. Even though this is nothing compared to those military families who must be apart from their loved ones for months or even years at a time, there is a large gap when he's away that just cannot be filled. I'm wondering if I'll actually get adjusted to it or if I'll have to continue to tell myself "we can do this" everytime he leaves. In our almost 30 years of marriage we've been apart for not more than a week at a time and that was temporary during a few jobs. Making a bigger deal than necessary? Probably, if I blog it out, I can fill just a few moments of the alone time.

God is already giving me opportunities to use this 'free time' in a way that will benifit others and glorify Him. Now I must be careful to listen to His bidding and obey. He knows the best way to make the time go by quickly and I just have to remember that it's not all about me. Certainly the Lord knew from the very first morning Monty drove out for his extended leave that I would be more available for His plans to be carried out. I do gain comfort from the realization that while He teaches me to 'live with me' I can be useful to Him. Okay God, let's fill it up.

2012...Really?

One more year gone....another one beginning with a brand new calender to fill. I can remember doing that very thing; filling my calender with appointments, birthdays(I once remembered those and acknowledged them in a timely fashion), anniversaries, vacations, things to do & goals to accomplish. What happened? I don't even know how to do that anymore. It is definately one day at a time these days. My schedule changes without much notice, if any. Doesn't matter that much to me though; I'm getting used to it(with the exception of keeping up with birthdays...I truely need to get those written in that 2012 calender).
Jesus said not to worry about our lives anymore than the birds of the air or the lilies of the field worry about what they will eat or how they will be clothed. I'm not well praticed at that particular verse. I don't call it worry, however, I imagine that it consumes more of my time than it should. After all, 'I'm the mother' and my people would be hungry and naked if I weren't somewhat concerned with food & clothes.
This year is already pushing my anxious button just a little bit because my daughter will give birth to grandchild #2 in just a few weeks; #1 just had his first birthday before Christmas; it was a grand celebration with family & friends; we do enjoy a party. I am remembering things that my mamaw said and did when I was a little girl. She was completely 'silly' over me and my sister. I have become entirely 'silly', as well, over my grandson and will be the same over the one about to arrive. As a matter of fact I'm planning on it! It is a grandmother's right to be 'silly' over her grandchildren.
"God is so good all the time, all the time God is good." This has been a fact from the beginning of time, but I have personally experienced this for 47(almost 48)years now. He will be my strength when I am weak and the treasure that I seek; He is my all in all, as the song says. My prayer is.....Lord, as this new year begins, help me to fill my calender with what is important to you. Amen.